Faith in the Fire…

I heard this phrase being whispered in my heart months ago and I felt the Lord asking me to start writing a blog and name it just what I have…Faith in the Fire. I’ll be honest, it surprised me. I never saw myself doing this type of thing. I don’t know, I guess I just thought “well, that’s good for some people, but not me.” I mean, who am I? What do I have to say that could help someone? The truth is, I really don’t have anything to say, but I believe God does and He’s asked me to be obedient and write down the things He reveals to my heart. So, I will do what He asked me to do…and I will write. I’ll begin by sharing part of my story and some things my family and I have been facing lately…

Almost a year ago God spoke to me three times and said “all my promises are yes and amen!” He spoke it once while I was reading His Word, a few days later through someone I go to church with, and through a message that was delivered at my church. It’s a word…a promise that I have held onto for almost a solid year. During this time God has been gracious to speak many more promises to my heart to encourage me…to bolster me in my spiritual war. A war I thought I had been waging for a long time, but absolutely intensified and magnified tenfold during the past few months. Honestly, the last few months have been a blur. It’s been a choice to get up everyday and believe God’s Word and His promises over what my physical eyes were seeing. It’s been the fight of my life…the fight of my family’s lives. I’ve been in the fire…my family has been in fire, and I could not see any end in sight. All I could see was darkness and if I would not have held on to the promises that God spoke to me, I probably would not have made it. I couldn’t have survived the last few months without God’s help, that much I know for sure!

God knew almost a year ago the fight I would face. He knew the fire I would have to endure and He knew I would need His promises to hold on to. And boy, have I ever had to hang onto them! At times it has felt like I was only holding on by the tiniest thread. The tiniest thread of hope. The tiniest Word that God would either speak to my heart, have me read in His Word, or speak to me through different people. So, I would like to thank all those who obeyed God and spoke those words that God gave to you to tell me. They helped breathe life into my very war weary heart. Thank you for allowing God to use you. You will never, ever know how much of a difference you made! God was able to give me hope because of you. He was able to breathe His Word into my heart because of you. He was able to declare new things before they ever sprung forth…because of you! Thank you to all who have held my arms up. Who have spent time in your prayer closets on mine and my family’s behalf. I could never repay you the debt of gratitude I feel!

What is this war? You may be asking yourself…and for now, it’s not something I can fully share. God’s not done writing this chapter in our lives and until He’s finished I don’t think I’ll be able to share our war. One day, though, I know that God will have us share this story. I know that one day we will be able to minister and help others because of what we have waged war with. Even though I do not feel released to divulge the details of our entire story at this time, I still believe that God has things that wants me to share. Truths and revelations that He has shown me during this hard fought battle…and I simply could not go another day without saying this:

Whatever you are facing today, please know that God is with you! He will be your very breath if you let Him. I would not have survived the last few months without God. I know I said this before, but it’s so true that I can’t even begin express it enough! There were days when I would wake up and immediately have to go to my prayer closet because I felt like the very life inside of me was going to be choked out by sheer fear! I had to get in God’s presence or I would have not made it another minute! Are you in this place, too? Where every bit of security has been stripped from you and your only source of security is God? It’s a humbling place to be, isn’t it?

I believe it’s the breaking of our will so that we can surrender to God’s will. I don’t think that God causes us pain in life. I believe that some of it is because we live in such a broken world that it would be impossible for us to never experience pain. I also believe that our choices can cause us pain. Sometimes we just flat out make wrong choices and the pain we experience is a direct result or consequence of those choices. I tell my children, “there are always consequences to our actions…whether good or bad.” Basically, I tell them, “we reap what we sow”…the very word that God tells us in the Bible. So, I don’t believe God causes us pain, but does He use it? Absolutely! He uses it to mold us and shape us into who He has destined and purposed us to be! The refiners fire is never an easy place to be. It’s incredibly painful and humbling, but it is necessary for our growth. If God never refined us we would never become the beautiful masterpieces He has in mind. He takes us from glory to glory…but we can’t go from glory to glory without becoming more pure in heart. So, God refines us…and then He takes us higher and deeper. In the fires of life that we face we get to see places of our Father’s heart that we didn’t know were there. We see another side to His beauty and graciousness.

No one likes being refined; just like a child doesn’t like to be disciplined…but as parents we know that disciplining our children is necessary if we want to them to become successful in life. God knows what is best for us and He refines us so that we can be all that he has desired and destined us to be! It’s hard to embrace the fire. I can’t say I’ve done it willingly. Oh, I kicked against it until I realized that it wasn’t anything I could change. God put me in place where I have had zero control…and it’s been hard!!! But I have found God faithful. I have found His promises sure. I found Him to be trustworthy. I found Him here, in the “valley of the shadow of death” in ways I didn’t know Him before. I know more of His heart…and He has more of mine!